No Motivation

No Motivation

That is what I have right now.

I have had this since before spring break. I am really sick of college and man it is wearing me down. I am falling behind in schoolwork because I really don't care at all. I just want to graduate it. The thing that sucks is that I got screwed by my piece of shit school with needing to declare a minor. Since I started a bio major almost 4 years ago (wow that was a terrible decision, that and playing soccer could have been the 2 worst decisions I have made) I then switched to a comm. major. This happened after I just tore my acl so I had a bunch of shit going on with rehab and gay shit. Well I thought that everything was all golden. That is until last semester when I go to sign up for my last semester of classes and realize that I need to declare a minor because I changed my major and they put in some gay fucking rule that everyone must have a minor or some bullshit. So since i have bio credits, a bio minor is the only one I could take while still graduating ontime. Well that means that this semester I would need to take general chem 2. I thought to myself "well that will be ok, I will get a tutor and study and work and it will be ok". Well no, thats not how it works. Everyone else in this class is taking calculus and last semester just took gen chem 1. Sean here hasn't taking calculus or gen chem 1 for 3 1/2 years. Sean has been focusing on his communications shit because thats what he enjoys. So now I am in this chemistry class and my grade is comical. I got a 21 out of 100 on the last test. A 21!! This class is 3 days a week at 9 am and I have missed it only twice! I go and take notes, I just dont understand this shit, or how this shit school expects me to take a course like this in my last semester. Tomorrow I am going to talk to the professor (seems like a decent guy, solid teacher...if i took gen chem 1 last semester since he refers to it almost every class) and just lay it out for him, "look I show up, I take notes, I am respectful, this just is lame that I need to take this class my last semester of college when I haven't taken this stuff for 3 1/2 years. I am trying to look for jobs and now I got this class that is trying to keep me from graduating." I just want a D, just pass me, fuck. If he is a dick (hopefully not, but I have learned teachers or the natural sciences are nutters) I will just go to a dean and bitch and bitch and then a school psychologist saying how this is affecting my sanity (it kinda is though), etc. It really does piss me off that I need to take this bullshit ass class.

I have learned in college what I had suspected since I started. It has been discussed many times with my fellows back home. College is such a fucking scam. What did I learn here? Nothing. Did college prepare me for the real world? Haha, in no way whatsoever. What does college show you? That you can be a puppet and do stupid ass assignments that have no real world value to them? I really think the college I go to is a piece of fucking shit. The schooling is so fucking easy, I really can't imagine it is this easy everywhere. Then I think about dumb fucks who are in college and think that it can't be hard at most places. I was never a big fan of college before I went. I wanted to be a fireman in a big city and do that. I decided to go to college and get "a degree". This fucking degree better get me some good fucking money. I mean when I do get a job what am I gonna be doing? Not too much right away. Its just fucking stupid.

Soccer

I love soccer, its an awesome sport and I really like playing it. I am not so sure if I should have played in college, and I am almost definite that I should have stopped playing after I tore my ACL my sophmore year. I was killing it that preseason and the first 2 games and then I was a reserve that rest of the time. It just pisses me off because those falls and springs when I was practicing and wasting my weekends on a bench in some shitty maryland town after an 8 hour bus ride there and back I could have been.... PAUSE I am going to continue writing this now after a few days. When I wrote the last paragraph I was worn out (i guess stressed, but I really don't like that word much). I guess I will keep going on the tangant in this paragraph that I started, but only for a few more moments... UNPAUSE... working jobs around campus, I could have worked at the radio station on campus (something that I always wanted to do, but the times never ever worked out for me because of my soccer commitment). I am just bumming about this soccer thing now because I am gonna need to go into job interviews and it looks like I haven't done much with work related experience in my past. Yea, I only busted my ass every month out of the year with college soccer, but employers most likely dont give a shit about that and don't really understand what goes into that. The more I think about it, the more I want to try and kick in the NFL. That is my dream job at this moment. I am going to pursue it as much as possible and I am going to make it. I can kick the shit out of a soccer ball. I love people who tell me how different a football is than a soccer ball. My response? "You are a fucking wanker." Come on, its a fucking football. There is a sweet spot on a football and on a soccer ball. Its in the middle of each ball. I am gonna do that, make around 400k a year and it will be amazing. I will tell this story about my "freak out blog" and then laugh about it while still drinking a keystone.

It is supposed to be 74 degrees on Friday. I am definitely grilling out in my backyard homemade grill. It is the most kick ass grill ever. It is just made from bricks and stones and it is amazing. I am so looking forward to making some burgers and just chilling while watching some hockey. Both my roommates will be gone so I will probably ask one of my cooler chick friends (I have about...3 here) if they want to come over (ok, a lie, I already made plans to cook out with her cause she has wanted to for a while now. Like I need to be convinced by anyone to cook out, much less a girl who likes sports) and we will cook out and drink some beers from bottles (that is going to be a new summer rule of mine that I will start enforcing this year: In the summer I only drink beers out of bottles. I love bottled beer, but esp. in the summer. Can anyone say High Life??) and watch some hockey. Good fucking times.

The lease on my house is up July 31st. I am looking at getting a part time job for the summer at ESPN's NYC studio. That would be fucking sick. Of course after that I would say I would come back to minnesota. Yet if I could get something else out of that at ESPN that would be hard to pass up. Obviously I need to get the job first, but I am hoping I can.

I have realized recently that I really do miss minnesota. I mean I have missed living away from home for the past four years, but have felt that it has been extremely awesome and healthy to get away from the motherland. I had the opportunity and I went for it. That being said, I do want to move back there, and I really want to do it sooner than later. Jill and Allie called me last week drunk on a wednesday (classy girls right there) and were talking to me. Jill is done in May and was asking me to get a house with her in minnesota. Yea, I think that would definately be the girl I would get a house with if there was one. She is the shit (Nick Swardson voice). So that made me happy. I would love to get a shit load of cash and buy an apartment in the new complex right across from the new twins stadium. "Twinsville" as it has been dubbed (umm way to be creative on that one...) would be a sick place to live. Hopefully I can find the means to score a place there. I will need to call my brother, I'm sure he has an idea! Anyway though I am hoping to be home sooner than later and would love to live with Jill, that would be amazing. She is my hero (power hour with the boys? no problem. watch any sport and know what shes talking about? no problem. teach her dogs amazing tricks? no problem...yea she rocks).

My dad text me tonight (boy he loves that these days) to tell me he is in La Jolla, CA tonight. La Jolla is the greatest place on earth. Its about 15 minutes outside of San Diego (a whale's vagina for the scholars out there) and it is fucking amazing. La Jolla is where Torrey Pines is, so that should give you some idea of how kick ass it is. Well he has a meeting in San Jose Friday with the GM of that plant and a meeting in Phoenix on Saturday with the GM at that plant. They want to higher him for the GM position at their LA place so I guess it is a last interview thing before they offer him something. As I have said before, he is super excited so I hope for his sake he gets the job because I have never seen him this excited before. My dad is a good dude. He can get pyscho sometime, but man, that motherfucker has all of our backs and I appreciate him for that.

Well I am wrapping this up here. I probably wont be too busy this weekend so I will probably make another post. I just wanted to say that I miss my friends. Ohh yea another thing I was gonna put. I was saying the other day about how the last 3 years at this time I was so excited because i had about 3 weeks left until I got on that plane and came home to my friends all summer to party. Well I feel so empty right now because I don't know when that day will be. I really hope it is sooner than later. I don't know when the date will be, but I promise you all that it will be the shit (swardson voice again) when I do arrive home. I am hoping it will be this summer, but I just don't know. My life has thrown me for crazy twists and god owes me some shit from the past few years so (dare I say!!??) I'll just leave it in his hands and see what he decides to do with me. Talk to you soon folks.

-Sean

leaving you guys with an amazing run from the one and only Theo Walcott, 19 years old, enjoy...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=85oa4r7b3zg